why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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