So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
In America we eat man semen.
My pussy is not your playground.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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