Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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