in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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