just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize