you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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