Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
