Cold hands, warm shart.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
