k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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