last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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