so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
wow bdsm is so cute
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
