Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
