great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
