i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
