her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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