why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
