Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
