I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
