I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
