it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
