as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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