are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize