just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
