planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
