this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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