Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
