do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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