She went from zero to smokin in five shots
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
