Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
