I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
