so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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