MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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