You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
