I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
