We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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