hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My vagina is officially offended.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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