I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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