Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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