I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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