Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
