I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize