i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
