Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
