just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize