how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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