there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
