I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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