I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
