If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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