Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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