Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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