no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she told me i tasted like america
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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