What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
