Small penises have feelings too.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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