Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
