then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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