Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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