So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
