so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
handjob tips. give me some.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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