I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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