Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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