Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
