I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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