i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
