Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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