2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
