I got chris browned last night
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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